SPAM. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
By Pete Davis
12/20/07
One of the things I am most often asked to address in regards to computer problems is Spam, technically known as UCE, or Unsolicited Commercial Email. The term Spam comes from an old Monty Python (a show on the BBC and PBS) skit where patrons of a restaurant were forced to order Spam on the menu. The menu choices were Spam and eggs, Spam and eggs and beans, or Spam and eggs and Spam and beans. The skit goes on and on where the customer and the waiter argue back and forth, and the whole group eventually breaks out in song with everyone singing SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM.
I actually like Spam. As long as it comes in a can, and comes from Hormel. Spam sandwiches, Spam and eggs, or Hawaiian Spam grilled with Pineapples and cherries are nice also. I just don’t want to eat it for every meal.
Regarding the e-mail type of Spam, there are basically three types of Spam. (junk email).
The first kind is advertisements for fake Rolexes, bootleg software, fake medicine, or whatever.
If the local jeweler was selling what he claimed to be a $40,000 Rolex watch for $199, you wouldn’t waste your time with it. If the local PC shop was offering a $500 software package for $1.99, you wouldn’t think it was legit, and if the drugstore offered $12/pill heart medicine for $3/1000, you wouldn’t risk your health on it. I don’t know who would trust these swindlers with their money over the internet.
Besides selling you stuff that you wouldn’t want to buy in person, there are “hot stock tips”, “new investment ideas”, and “work at home” plans that all usually involve a pump-and-dump stock, or buying gold, platinum, or hamster futures through some shady brokerage, or a work at home scheme that is so simple, they can’t even tell about it unless you send them $29.99. None of these schemes are new. There are new greedy people out there every generation who will always be sending these people money with the hopes to get rich.
The last category is the sexually explicit email. Apparently there are women who REALLY want to chat with you live on their website and show you pictures that would make a sailor blush. These emails are available regardless of what your pleasure might be. If you like men, women, animals, or any combination of any of these with any perversion of any inanimate objects, whether legal or illegal, there is someone out there willing to show it to you for a price. This type of email is the most offensive to the most people, but its (apparently) the most profitable. The online pornography business has exploded in the past 10 years since the privacy of your own home is preferable to most people rather than to be seen by someone coming out of a porn shop carrying magazines and videos. At least some people are ashamed of their perversion enough to hide it on their computer.
Regardless of what type of UCE that you receive, whether it be on your home email, your work email account, or your school account, the cost of processing it by the ISP is high, the cost of having to read it all and manually filter it is high, and it can all be very frustrating, and the risk of infecting your PC with a virus is high. There are other costs as well; especially the fraud, identity theft, and the other online security risks that Spammers bait, but I will save those for another article.
For years, people have suggested making Spamming illegal. The problem with that is that Spam can be sent from ANYWHERE. There is nothing that the US Congress could do to stop Spammers in
Other options include charging everyone, including Spammers a fee to send mail. Since there is no single clearinghouse for all email to pass through, then whoever tried to implement the idea would run them away to then next Internet provider. Unless every ISP adopted a uniform method for charging a small fee for every email message, that idea would never work. Its also currently impossible to charge and account for charging 6 billion people $0.01USD for each email message that goes out. Electronic micro payments are just not standardized enough to roll out worldwide. It would cost 2 cents to process a payment of 1 cent.
If regular mail (brought by postal carriers) could be sent with free postage, free ink, free paper, and could contain claims and offers that would otherwise yield jail time by the Postmaster General, then we would each receive a huge Santa Claus sized mailbag every stinking day! We would have to dig through a mountain of mail to find the electric bill, the phone bill, and the birthday card from Grandma with $10 inside. In the meantime the junk mail would all look like bills and Grandma’s letters.
The solution: Oh, yeah, the point of this article was to tell the readers how to avoid email. There are seven tips.
- DO NOT ever publish your email address on a website. If you need to put it on a website, make a graphic image of the email address and embed it into the website. The words fjohnson@picklefactory.com will be detected by “robot” programs and Mr. Johnson will get on a LOT more Spammer lists than if it were a graphic image that had to be manually typed by the reader. Another way to hide the email while explaining it on a site would be to put it fjohnson [at] picklefactory.com.
- DO NOT sign up for anything free on a website that you don’t know or trust. If a pop-up ad says “click here to win a free laptop” and you follow the link, you will be GUARANTEED to receive Spam to every email address that you enter in their signup. You will not get a free laptop, regardless of what the ad says.
- DO NOT respond to Spam. Even if the bottom of the message says “click here to unsubscribe”. Following any link in any Spam message will potentially acknowledge that the email address they sent to is actually read by a real live person. Once you effectively validate your email account, you move to the top of the new list. The new list gets 40 messages tomorrow.
- Change your email account. Once you get buried in Spam, most ISP’s will allow you to change your email address. Be sure to send a message to everyone in your address book with your new email account. Your old one will start bouncing when you turn it off. You may need to notify your bank, your online billing services, your school, etc.
- Ask your ISP to filter your email. Most ISP’s today offer a filtering service, usually at no additional cost. Sometimes you have to log in to set it up.
- There are MANY Spam filtering programs that you can install on your own PC, and many clients (Outlook 2007, Mozilla Thunderbird, etc) are capable of separating the good, the bad, and the ugly. These usually have a Bayesian filter that will learn what YOU call Spam and what YOU consider legitimate email. For example, a pharmacists may not want to filter every message with the word “Viagra”, and a cancer doctor may not want to filter every message with the word “breast”
- Forward your email to an online service. Spamcop.net offers a web-mail service what will filter email and let you keep your existing address. Google and Yahoo offer similar services, where identified Spam is held in a “SPAM” folder for 14 days or so.
Despite your best efforts, you will surely find that none of the methods are foolproof. You will still get some Spam in your inbox and some legit mail in your Spam folder.
There are other ways that I am sure you have heard of, but these are what I have found to work well. If you have any more ideas for fighting Spam, or have any other ideas for future articles, feel free to drop me a line. I would love to hear from you. Pete [at] callpete.com. Be careful out there, and be nice.